The trials of being Schrödinger's Ukulele Reviewer - RANT

I'ver not written a ukulele rant for a while, and I suppose this isn't a rant, more an observation which I think I need to personally process, but also, I suppose, try to explain a bit. The trials of being Schrödinger's Ukulele Reviewer.

Being out there getting a lot of readers and views on posts that have largely gone up every week for many years means that you do get exposed to some of the keyboard warriors of Social Media circles. Alex Beds and I discussed this in a recent podcast and it seems he's struggled with it too (and had it worse than me). But I guess it goes with the territory and the greater the number of subscribers you have, the greater the chances.

I've had them throughout my time online - most commonly the 'he's just paid by the brands to say nice things' brigade (I am not, and when you see the points below, that is clearly absurd in any case).  I even had one chap take to the keyboard to tell me he didn't 'like my accent', and another berating a review in which I was sniffing (because I had a bad cold..). 

The paid reviews DO exist of course and are easily spotted as they are usually nothing but gushingly positive. Sadly very few put 'paid promotion' banners up (some do, but they are in the minority..) and don't get me started on the brands on Amazon setting up 'groups' for positive reviews in return for instruments or even hard cash. But then when you are trying to be honest and independent (as I am) you open the gates to complaints at the exact opposite end of the scale. You can't win!

These people are funny, confusing, scary and rather sad in equal measure. I also pointed out to Alex that with me, the oddballs tend to come in waves. Sure enough, after not having any for a while... like buses.

First was the anonymous (SO many are anonymous) claim that I 'had nothing nice to say' about a particular ukulele (A cheap Fender).

'Nothing more than feedback'... Ummm, yes, it's a review..

You can hunt down the instrument by the date of the comment, but you tell me. I have ALWAYS, from day one, said I would be honest about what is in front of me and this one was extremely average, poorly finished and sounded extremely bland. Yes it was cheap (so what?), yes there are other cheap ukes (and?) - but the key point there is that it was almost but not quite diving into another common negative comment I used to get ALL the time - that Got A Ukulele never says anything nice about cheap ukuleles. And that is simply NOT the case.

Sure, at the cheap end the chances of an instrument being lousy are much greater than if you are spending hundreds (if not thousands), but I have actively gone out of my way to try to track down ultra cheap ukes I can recommend. I do that because I am fully aware that not everybody can even justify finding even thirty quid to spend on an instrument.. And they DO exist. I don't need to link to every one to defend myself - they are all on my review list, but brands like Makala, Dolphin, Octopus, Bumblebee, Baton Rouge, Flight, Dean, Hola, Donner have also crept into my '8 out of 10's' for very little money. The reason the Fender didn't? Well, it actually was quite a bit more than the examples from the brands I just mentioned, but it was also just cynical, cheap and poorly done - a cheap uke with a Fender logo slapped on. Simple as that. I wasn't dismissive for the sake of it, just factual based on what was in front of me. Why would I say it was great when I could reel off many others for less money that were better propositions? That would be loopy!

Then fast forward to the wonderful John W Leys who seemed intent on not only saying that EVERYTHING I write is negative, but taking time out of his day to throw barbed insults too..

This wasn't in response to a review, just in response to me sharing the rants page. The rants are, of course, grumpy by their very nature - but the very reason for them is not to be negative for the sake of it, but to try to find a POSITIVE for readers and steer them right and away from the shills, the bad advice, the crooks. That is anything but negative and to suggest otherwise totally misses the point of them (and gives support to the accuracy of many of them too!)

But of course John had to go further with the claim (no citation) that 90% of my reviews are full of complaints. This is an odd one to pin down, but I would point out that if you look at reviews of mine in the last few years, the percentage of those getting a 'recommended' or a 'highly recommended' is far, FAR higher than I can ever remember. As I said to Alex in an interview, i can't think of a better time to be a uke buyer in my life with the instrument. The 'utter crap' that used to be in the majority is now firmly in the minority. But any uke, even expensive ones can come with foibles. Should I shut up about them?Should I ignore them? Should I say everything is wonderful? What would be the point of that, and HOW would that be a review?

But hang on - I thought I was on the payroll and only write to promote things?

It seems I am Schrödingers Ukulele Reviewer - simultaneously being paid to say everything is wonderful whilst also saying everything is terrible..

As I also discussed with Alex, I love the instrument, love the community and the number of people who are decent VASTLY out-numbers the negatives. If I see something that is lousy I WILL say so because I want my readers to be steered correctly and not lied to. Alex explained that people complain about him because he is gushing about what he stocks. But he is a DEALER - why would he stock rubbish?? There are some seriously angry odd people out there.

So if you want to take time out of your day to type out an insult to a stranger on the internet, I'd kindly suggest you address shortcomings with your own life first.

And if you like the idea of the rants that Johnny boy was so offended by and are new to them - the full list is here. And as I say - they are written to HELP you not just to grumble for the sake of it.

https://www.gotaukulele.com/p/ukulele-rants.html

© Barry Maz

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